Storytelling

I haven't written much lately and I am really behind on the blogs I follow, but I find myself relaxing and getting a pedicure on a beautiful Saturday. Since it feels a little self indulgent to be pampering myself in the middle of the day, instead of being at home, I thought I would multitask to feel productive.

Probably about two months ago (maybe more, time doesn't always seem relative anymore!), I received a letter in the mail from the fetal and infant mortality board for the county where I live. When I first saw the letter, I was confused. I had some moments of panic thinking that they thought I did something to cause my son to die. The letter didn't say anything to that affect, but all I had to see was the words mortality review board and my imagination took off! I read the letter and put it aside, fully intending to follow-up in my own time (which probably meant never!). Several weeks letter when I had put the letter put of my mind, I received a call from a nurse with the review board asking to schedule a home visit to interview myself and my husband. Without being sure what to say, I just told her I needed to talk it over with my husband. My husband decided he was not comfortable with the request, which I truly understood. I decided, though, that I wanted the chance to talk about Ryan. When I was pregnant I had decided I would tell Ryan's story at any opportunity I was given and this was an opportunity. I did ask to not have the meeting at home and instead made arrangements to meet at a Starbucks (a delicious drink couldn't hurt!). So, on a Thursday afternoon, I took off early from work and was interviewed by a nurse from a mortality review board.

The meeting lasted two hours and we talked about everything from my previous pregnancy, my pregnancy with Ryan, learning of his diagnosis, Ryan's birth and death, and the time since his death. If a topic could be discussed it was. I was able to share all the positive aspects of my pregnancy and ideas of what could have brought more comfort knowing I was continuing a pregnancy when my child would not leave the hospital with me. For me, it was a wonderful opportunity to talk about Ryan! It was also a chance where I might be able to use my experience to benefit another mom who finds herself in this journey. At this time it was also explained me why they do these interviews. In the county where I live, the review board meets once a month and reviews all cases of fetal and infant death. They obtain data from medical records and when able from family interviews, with the hopes of identifying anything that can help reduce these situations. Apparently the infant mortality rate in the county where I live is higher than the national average. They also use the information gathered to make others aware of available resources and to ensure the moms and families are receiving these services. The board is comprised of doctors, nurses, social workers and others who have a chance to have a positive impact on BLMs.

I found out that just this past week Ryan's case was presented. Now, when they present the cases, all identifying information is reviewed, but I have a coworker who attends the meeting and she knew it was Ryan's story (helps when your child has a rare diagnosis). It was nice to be able to hear from her that his story was presented in a way that I would have been proud of and that it touched the members of the board. It feels good to know that his story continues, it did not end with his last breath.


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