"There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief...and of unspeakable love."
~Washington Irving

Ryan's Story

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Mother's Day


How can one day bring such joy and yet be a day of such heartache. Mother's Day has never been a big holiday in my family. Not that my mother was not deserving, she definitely was, but we just weren't a big holiday family. All holidays were celebrated in simplicity from Christmas to birthdays and everything in between!

But this year, when my grief feels so fresh (how can it have been 7 months!), the thoughts of Mother's day just bring about an ache. I love my 4 year old and look forward to hanging out with him! He is such a blessing to us, even on the days that I wonder if we will all survive to his next birthday! But the thing is, I love his baby brother, too! So while Sean can make laugh with his crazy antics and make my heart melt with his sweet songs, there is a part of my heart that still feels torn apart and I am not sure how to reconcile the pieces! This is the first holiday that keeps catching me off guard. I think I was still in shock, just still taking in everything that happened during the big holiday season (Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc) and it was easy to just wrapped in Sean's excitement. But this holiday, it's about being a mother. There is no talk of turkeys, no talk of reindeers and Santa, just mothers and children. Mothers and children...oh, my heart.

I honestly don't know what the day will bring, I am sure there will be some tears, but I am hopeful there will be smiles, laughter and joy. For I am joyful to be the mom of two beautiful boys!

To all moms, happy Mother's day, may it be a day of peace, joy, some moments of remembrance, and hope.



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2 comments:

  1. MeganMay 11, 2011 at 1:55 PM

    This post speaks to my heart. Maybe this being our "first" mother's day missing one was harder than the future ones to come will be. It was hard, and mother's day sure didn't feel the same without another little life that made us "mothers."

    Hugs, <3

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  2. TiffanyMay 15, 2011 at 12:26 PM

    Thank you so much for participating in the Face of Loss, Faces of Hope May Blog Hop.....we're so honored you shared your blog with us!

    Hoping you had a gentle Mother's Day! You are right, all special days from here on out will be twinged with pain. And it makes looking toward the future that much harder because we know such a significant person will be missing. I struggle with that daily myself.

    xoxo,
    Tiffany

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