"There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief...and of unspeakable love."
~Washington Irving

Ryan's Story

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Big Brother

I decided that I wanted to set aside entries to focus on Sean, Ryan's big brother. He has been such a light in my life and our family's life and I want to share a little bit of that. At the same time, it will allow me to create a little bit of a record of him growing up!



Last weekend, we took Sean to see Ryan's marker at the cemetery. He had not been there since the graveside service, but I finally felt ready to share it with him. I had hesitated before when there was no maker, and then once the marker arrived, I was scared of how to explain it or how he would react. The day we took him, I realized we had nothing to worry about. It was no big deal - he just liked the flowers! We have since talked about picking out different things to take to Ryan and Sean has said that he needs a little toy. This weekend, Sean helped me shop for some flowers to take later and some decorations for up coming holidays. It felt good to be able to involve Sean. Next time he gets to help us clean off the dirt, for some reason, Ryan's marker never seems to stay clean!



This past week, Sean gave me a good reminder - "mom, we can talk to him [Ryan], he can hear us in Heaven".

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